The holidays are stressful. Reporters blare about higher suicide/domestic violence and child abuse rates. I sit and wonder why people lash out and hurt others when they feel helpless?
I know the pain of working non stop just to be close to keeping up, but also the pride of being ahead of the game. Equal. Made sweeter by the other? Like Ying/Yang. Balance.
December is especially difficult for me because of several unfortunate events. 15 yrs ago, my son’s 1st Christmas, was spent recovering from All Children’s Hospital. 4 yrs ago I was brutally assaulted at a hotel I managed, spending months in recovery. Just last night, I was attacked outside one of my best friends front door.
I catch myself feeling sorry for myself, then angry for not being stronger…over & over reviewing how I could have changed things. “Why did this have to happen to me?”
Poor me, went to my favorite vice, LA Tan. I hurry to grab my weekly jolt of sunshine, truely believing in its power of rejuvination. Hoping to lift my spirits, I reach for my lotion & see a picture of “my girl, Heather.” Heather: tells me what lotion I need this time, saves me from spray tan drama, newlywed…immune to wedding annoyance gag reflex. Smiling no matter what & always here when I come to get cheered up. The one who giggled when I told her my fiance was finally coming home for Thanksgiving, eyebrows raised.
Heather looks like an Angel in the pic on the wall. The photographer captured her face glowing, her smile frozen in the moment of happiness forever, on her wedding day. “Please donate to Heather’s Angel fund” it said below.
“My Heather”was Chelsea’s Heather. My Heather was also “the unknown female killed by a drunk driver driver driving home w/her sister on Sunday night after Thanksgiving.”
I imagine her smiling, laughing about the deals she got on black Friday, cheerful as always. Then I imagine the moment after the accident. SILENCE. The world will be LESS without her in it.
“I THANK GOD FOR BEING BLESSED.”
